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What if Apple made SQL Server ?

March 4, 2010 6 comments

This week , a break from Sql and reporting services as I take on the role as agent provocateur , and annoy my Apple fanboy friends in the process…..

 

With the announcement of Windows Phone 7 Series , there’s now a renewed Apple vs Microsoft debate. Debate is always good. However many of the fanboys seem to think that Apple is the best IT / Software company simply because of success with consumer goods. Remember boys , there’s a whole other world out there called the enterprise. In my opinion , this is where the big  boys play. If you want to call yourself the best IT company in the world , you have to prove your worth in this difficult space. Would Apple cut it with regards to enterprise software ? Would businesses accept their stubborn product compromises like consumers have done ?

 

I don’t use an iPhone because I find it to be too locked down. Many people, however, seem to blindly accept the limitations present. I do own an iPod touch though, so I’m familiar with the platform, and the frustrations.  So, I’ve now decided explore the scenario where Apple starts competing in the enterprise world. Since SQL Server is the product we use and love , lets look into the crystal ball and ask the question – What if Apple made Sql Server ?

 

·         Management Studio would look a lot more colourful with bigger buttons.

·         You would only be able to run one query at a time against the database. However, instead of this being a limitation, it would be marketed as a “feature” that guarantees great performance of that query.

·         If you needed to change a configuration setting on the server ( eg. By using SP_CONFIGURE ), you wouldn’t be allowed to. You’d have to call in an Apple Tech guy to come in and do it for you.

·         Custom Data Types ( which we’ve had in SQL Server for a while now ) wouldn’t be allowed. You would have to use what you get with the product.

·         A big one – when extracting data using  “SSIS” , you would only be able to pull data from an Apple DB server to another, and via it’s own tool only. No connecting to anything else like MS, Oracle or DB2 .Won’t be allowed. Sorry.

·         In fact it would be a closed platform period. You won’t be allowed to export data to CSV or flat files.

·         You won’t be allowed to install any additions not approved by Apple. So if you wanted an extra Dundas chart control for Reporting Services , Steve Jobs must give the OK first.

·         When you install Apple’s Sql Server ( iDB ? ) , you will be forced to install Quicktime and Safari. If you remove these from your server , the DB stops working.

 

OK I’ll stop now before I start getting hate mail. Just one more though. If Apple DID release this database product now ( March 2010 ), it would then sue Oracle , Microsoft , and IBM for infringing on their database “patents” with claims that they’ve “re-invented” the database. Witness the now ludicrous lawsuits by Apple against HTC and Nokia

 

 

Just a bit of fun with the above , but I hope it opens the eyes of some of you fanboys…. Remember , the Apple guys are normally the ones who start the debates…..

 
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